English Class Epiphany
- So I'm about caught up now from the days I missed while in Boston that I love so dearly to complain about. Things have by no means however, slowed down. AP tests are commin up fast and it feels like my teachers are turning up the heat. Its just my luck to get the nazi slave driving teachers. I don't mind my classes. In almost all of them I have a good time jokin around because I know most the people in them, its just having to write 3 essays for homework is just a little to much for me to chew. The new trend in teaching also seems to require us to spend a lot of time out of class doing things for class like practice tests, review sessions, AP seminars and registration which all reflect upon our grade should we decide not to show up. Its terrible because it adds about an extra 3 hours of school to my school week. As a senior, 3 hours is a freakin lot.
- So I'm lookin at my watch and its telling me that its time for today's mysterious vauge rant about issues I'm obviously not being straightfoward about. Its time for me to take action. Time is running out and the longer I wait, the less creative I'm able to be and the more muddy the issue will become. We are only young for so long and I don't want a smudge in my past that I'm going to look back on and wish I had done things differently. If I'm to truely live life to the fullest I need to shoot for things I want and not be held back by anxiety. Its just, yesterday, I felt that anxiety/excitement a little bit and it scared me to death. But, it was like the scared feeling of waiting in line for a rollercoaster thats really really tall. My mom agrees.
Haha. I read over that and unless you know exactly what I'm talking about as only I do, it doesn't make a lick of sense. Just the way I like it.
- I really want to make something of myself when I get older. I had an English class epiphany the other day while we were discussing the book Invisible Man. Though the book doesn't apply to me in the slightest as I'm neither black nor a socialist and I don't resent the white man for oppressing me much, an emotion it evoked out of me hit me like a truck. Its really hard to explain in words but I'll give it a shot anyway. I want to be remembered. I don't want to be another number or just a face in the crowd that lived a mediocre life and died of a heart attack at an office desk only to be replaced the next day. I've got to make a difference or I'm doomed to die a lonely unfilled death. Doom. This this doesn't mean I want to be famous or rich or powerful. I just want to be remembered as someone that was just a little bit different. Someone that never turned down an opportunity out of fear, and as someone who had an impact of good. Someone who did something with his life; who left a legacy. When I die, I want to be ready to go to the Lord having lived a life that I can be satisfied with. There are so many people that spend so much time starring at the little things that really don't matter at all as clicheish as that sounds. Time flys and the last 18 years of my life have come and gone in what seems like nothing. Life is short.I hate wasting any of it.
I don't need to change the world to be fulfilled. I just want to live life well.
- So I'm lookin at my watch and its telling me that its time for today's mysterious vauge rant about issues I'm obviously not being straightfoward about. Its time for me to take action. Time is running out and the longer I wait, the less creative I'm able to be and the more muddy the issue will become. We are only young for so long and I don't want a smudge in my past that I'm going to look back on and wish I had done things differently. If I'm to truely live life to the fullest I need to shoot for things I want and not be held back by anxiety. Its just, yesterday, I felt that anxiety/excitement a little bit and it scared me to death. But, it was like the scared feeling of waiting in line for a rollercoaster thats really really tall. My mom agrees.
Haha. I read over that and unless you know exactly what I'm talking about as only I do, it doesn't make a lick of sense. Just the way I like it.
- I really want to make something of myself when I get older. I had an English class epiphany the other day while we were discussing the book Invisible Man. Though the book doesn't apply to me in the slightest as I'm neither black nor a socialist and I don't resent the white man for oppressing me much, an emotion it evoked out of me hit me like a truck. Its really hard to explain in words but I'll give it a shot anyway. I want to be remembered. I don't want to be another number or just a face in the crowd that lived a mediocre life and died of a heart attack at an office desk only to be replaced the next day. I've got to make a difference or I'm doomed to die a lonely unfilled death. Doom. This this doesn't mean I want to be famous or rich or powerful. I just want to be remembered as someone that was just a little bit different. Someone that never turned down an opportunity out of fear, and as someone who had an impact of good. Someone who did something with his life; who left a legacy. When I die, I want to be ready to go to the Lord having lived a life that I can be satisfied with. There are so many people that spend so much time starring at the little things that really don't matter at all as clicheish as that sounds. Time flys and the last 18 years of my life have come and gone in what seems like nothing. Life is short.I hate wasting any of it.
I don't need to change the world to be fulfilled. I just want to live life well.
posted by Jay | 1:40 PM
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