A week later

- Well, things aren't easy but at least they're starting to move foward. I quit my second job today and plan on focusing on my internship and the GRE's/grad school applications. Chipotle was really understanding, much to my suprise, but there's definately other waves that are being felt from the whole ordeal that will require me to do some patching. I want to move again too, but theres not really a good reason to do it and it doesn't make sense so I won't. I think I just need change, or maybe control over my life again. Things were better the way they were before, but I know they will never be like that again so I'm dealing in ways I can.

- Thanks for all your support. I'm sorry if you've tried to get a hold of me to be there for me and I haven't gotten back to you. Just knowing you're there is enough. I'm dealing with this a day at a time and have had so many people come through for me that it makes me wish I didn't tend to choose to deal with it alone.

- A week later I'm learning its going to be a lonely existance; maybe because my demenor will probably lean slightly towards the lachrymose side for a while and given my already established loner tendancies I may be doing it to myself. I'm trying my best to stay active; I'm making plans with friends I don't typically hang out with and excepting today will try not to be home to often. It still hurts. But there are still times where I hit that place that makes me feel empty and hopeless with no real joy I can find. A day at a time though. Baby steps. The more I focus on my future the less I can dwell.

- Love your life. Even when it sucks its a gift.