In My Dust

- I, even though I don't always show it externally, am a very opinionated person and can be very stubborn and set in my ways regarding my philosophies on life. I'm not talking about my thoughts on society or politics, but intstead my little patterns of behavior approaching certain situations and deciding what the best way to handle them is. Even though I know I don't, a little part of me likes to think I've got a lot of these things figured out and I hold myself and others to them without thinking twice. But just now, as I was getting ready for bed, a little nagging tinge of guilt hit me, and I took a quick retrospective trip though my past, both recent and distant and three particular people stuck out in my mind as examples of how my occasional inability to be philosophically flexible has left these three out to dry. If I had been treated the same way I ended up treating them; after all was said and done, I would have resented them intensely. I really feel like I need to set this right but unfortunantly, for most of the cases, its waaay to late to start fixing it, and the only real thing I can do is just not to make the same mistake again.

- So I'm sorry. Consider this my commitment to turn this around and live a little less selfishly. And I'm also sorry for all the ten dollar words. I had trouble finding simpler, less obnoxious words that would convey this little epiphany. Its not really supposed to make sense to anyone but me anyways so don't think on it too long.