Slow

- I'm back in Fort Collins for a few weeks and it's been awhile so I figure its time for reflection.

- I'm taking things a day at a time, and things definitely aren't easy anywhere in my life. But thats good. I'm building up perserverance. I don't feel like I'm growing when things are all just smooth and simple. If they are that way, I'm playing it too safe. I'm not going to get anywhere that way and it'll leave me ultimately unsatisfied. Things get sorted out, even the tricky ones, and everything leaves me a stronger person when all is said and done.

- Here I am, a few days removed from twenty and what I really want for my birthday is a chance to just take a breath and soak it all in. I hope it snows tomorrow. All I want to do is hang up some Christmas lights, make some Italian sausage soup for the girlfriend, and just sit back with some hot coco and watch the snow fall as I wait for the second decade of my life come to a close. All my experiences, all my heartaches, joys, trials, victories, shortcomings, highs and lows. All the people that have come into my life, all that left, all that stuck around for awhile, and all that always will. The cumulation of all these things have made me into what I am today and I consider it all joy. Its not always going to be easy or ideal. Fairy tales aren't real and that's their fatal flaw. Real is beautiful and thats all anyone can really ask for.

- All I'm asking for now is snow and a warm cup of soup.