Niceties
- Things have been going well for me recently. It’s like I can do no wrong. I got a test grade back today that was a lot higher than I expected; not fair for the small amount of work I put into it. It’s usually been my coworker Justin not me making the mistakes at work. I feel me getting closer to my sisters as we get older. Kimbre doesn't hate my guts yet. The weathers getting warmer and the grass is getting greener. It’s all a good sign. Reminds me eerily of the mood of the summer of my senior year.
- I don't know why I do it, but when I'm going through a good time in my life, I always brace for the other shoe to drop. It’s not stupid cause I know eventually it will; that’s just the cycle of living. I just hope the bracing isn't holding me back from enjoying where I'm at as much as I should. It would be a little more justified if I felt bracing myself made things any easier when things don't always go like I want them to in the past. I guess its all in finding that golden spot on the continuum.
- In other news, I experienced a really awkward situation yesterday. I was at the bike rack after work unlocking my bike and getting ready to leave when the guy from central receiving that handles the UPS and FedEx boxes also walked out to unlock his bike. It was locked right next to mine and the way our locks were arranged we had to get uncomfortably close. We both recognize each other from when I run back there to give him things but we're not on personal speaking terms. Every exchange between us has been purely business. I'm not even sure if the guy knows my name. My bike lock was being stubborn so it was taking me longer than normal and we made brief eye contact for a moment when I looked up in frustration. I finally got mine unlocked and almost at the same time we said to each other "Another day another dollar." I don't know why, I think it was just to fill that awkward silence, but it made an uncomfortable situation even more awkward. We laughed sheepishly for a second at the jinx and as I got on the bike to ride away I yelled back at him "Have a good day." He responded with the customary "You too" and we went our separate ways.
- The whole situation got me thinking about how empty words can be sometimes. Honestly, I didn't really care how the rest of his day went. My intentions in telling him to enjoy the rest of his evening weren't actually a wish for him to be genuinely happy but instead more of a socially acceptable way of saying, "I'm leaving now and I don't really expect to see you again until I need to." The whole thing bugged me a little. I know it would have been inappropriate to look him in the eye "I'm a little bit glad that you don't live on my street cause you freak me out" even if that’s how I really feel. It also would have been equally inappropriate to give him a warm handshake and say "Wow, you're a fantastic person and deserve good things to happen to you for the rest of the night" because that would have been insincere.
- I guess the generic "Have a good ones" and "See you laters" are necessary empty nuggets our language has developed that do their purpose. I just hope that I make sure that I keep them to a minimum and make sure that the people I love know when I tell them something that its coming from the heart and that I mean what I say when it really matters.
- I don't know why I do it, but when I'm going through a good time in my life, I always brace for the other shoe to drop. It’s not stupid cause I know eventually it will; that’s just the cycle of living. I just hope the bracing isn't holding me back from enjoying where I'm at as much as I should. It would be a little more justified if I felt bracing myself made things any easier when things don't always go like I want them to in the past. I guess its all in finding that golden spot on the continuum.
- In other news, I experienced a really awkward situation yesterday. I was at the bike rack after work unlocking my bike and getting ready to leave when the guy from central receiving that handles the UPS and FedEx boxes also walked out to unlock his bike. It was locked right next to mine and the way our locks were arranged we had to get uncomfortably close. We both recognize each other from when I run back there to give him things but we're not on personal speaking terms. Every exchange between us has been purely business. I'm not even sure if the guy knows my name. My bike lock was being stubborn so it was taking me longer than normal and we made brief eye contact for a moment when I looked up in frustration. I finally got mine unlocked and almost at the same time we said to each other "Another day another dollar." I don't know why, I think it was just to fill that awkward silence, but it made an uncomfortable situation even more awkward. We laughed sheepishly for a second at the jinx and as I got on the bike to ride away I yelled back at him "Have a good day." He responded with the customary "You too" and we went our separate ways.
- The whole situation got me thinking about how empty words can be sometimes. Honestly, I didn't really care how the rest of his day went. My intentions in telling him to enjoy the rest of his evening weren't actually a wish for him to be genuinely happy but instead more of a socially acceptable way of saying, "I'm leaving now and I don't really expect to see you again until I need to." The whole thing bugged me a little. I know it would have been inappropriate to look him in the eye "I'm a little bit glad that you don't live on my street cause you freak me out" even if that’s how I really feel. It also would have been equally inappropriate to give him a warm handshake and say "Wow, you're a fantastic person and deserve good things to happen to you for the rest of the night" because that would have been insincere.
- I guess the generic "Have a good ones" and "See you laters" are necessary empty nuggets our language has developed that do their purpose. I just hope that I make sure that I keep them to a minimum and make sure that the people I love know when I tell them something that its coming from the heart and that I mean what I say when it really matters.
posted by Jay | 10:46 PM
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