March
- Like many of my posts this time of year I'm writing from the library. The ginger kid sitting across from where I'm studying just stretched out, yawned really loud, threw his book over his shoulder, then curled up in the fetal position to go to sleep. Each step in that process was jerky and borderline violent. The strangeness of his actions really startled me so all hope of studying for a little bit was lost to my mild case of ADD.
- Heres a few things that have randomly crossed my mind today:
- I'm very guarded in terms of talking about my relationships. People often don't know I'm with a girl unless they heard about it from someone else or have asked me about it. No matter how much I like a girl I'll rarely talk about her even if she's dominating my thoughts. Often, even when someone asks me something in that arena I'll either dodge the question completely or give a pretty generic response. I don't know why this is, just the way I am I suppose. If I talk to you about a relationship I'm in or even was in, you're either a really good friend to me and/or you asked about it. The reason this whole personal oddity crossed my mind is because its led to some kind of funny situations over the last month or so that will remain solely mine.
- Month old snow isn't pretty. Go away snow.
- There are a lot of people in the world. A lot. Nothing will help you realize that better than working in a mail center. One of the projects I was working on today involves sending out 30,000 pamphlets to high school seniors across the country. Each one is on its way to a different person with a different story and different experience. One was to a guy named Ken Doll, by the way, which made me laugh. As I worked, though, something that helped me pass the time was looking at some of the names and trying to imagine their story. There's probably someone else in the world that hears a name in that bundle and has their stomach churn for reasons good, bad, or both. There are probably other names in there of people that have done great, extraordinary things the world will never hear about. Everyday I sort through at least one love letter someone else is probably waiting anxiously for. A funny story about that was in a letter written on a postcard that went into graphic detail about what some dude's girlfriend was gonna do to him next time she saw him. GRAPHIC. The whole thing makes me realize that the world is big and even though sometimes I convince myself otherwise, I am I'm not a huge part of it. That would make most people feel really lonely but not me. My experiences matter to me. I may be insignificant, but my life to me and the people I change isn't.
- Music from the 70's is overrated. I don't like it. Any of it. I don't care if it was the influence for modern music. Its one relic of American history I could do without.
- My family is unique. Really unique. Between my four sisters and me there are thousands of ways that we're different from each other. Yeah, there are the similarities; Julie's a little more like I was and Jenna, to a lesser extent is a little more like Jessie. But for five individuals raised under the same roof our various approaches to life and our experiences growing up aren't anything alike. On a bigger scale, the way my whole family interacts and loves each other is very a-typical when I compare them to my friends and their families. I'm really glad. I think the core of all this is my family values responsible individuality more than most and our relationships with each other embody this. I love each and every one of them and knowing they're always there for me is the glue that holds me together even when everything else is falling apart.
- Some people are just plain stupid. No reason to be nice about it. They can't help it and it isn't going to change. They are doomed to a life of being dumb.
- On a similar note, there are some people I look at and can't figure how they can be happy. I was talking to Jeff about one of my coworkers who is just a surly old lady and she can't be older than 27 though the bags under her eyes and the snarl in her face would say otherwise. I know I should probably live in her shoes a day before I really make such a judgement, but I just can't see her enjoying anything much less her life in general.
- Heres a few things that have randomly crossed my mind today:
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- I love Fort Collins. Its pretty close to the perfect little town, but today I realized its dark little secret that me and everyone else that loves FoCo often overlook. The wind. Its never really an issue most of the year but come late winter early spring; BAM. It hits you. Its cold. Its hard. Its miserable. It makes it hard to ride your bike back from class. Its pretty easy to forget when its gone and town is back in its full glory but right now, my city is in its Hyde stage. I can't wait for the summer.- I'm very guarded in terms of talking about my relationships. People often don't know I'm with a girl unless they heard about it from someone else or have asked me about it. No matter how much I like a girl I'll rarely talk about her even if she's dominating my thoughts. Often, even when someone asks me something in that arena I'll either dodge the question completely or give a pretty generic response. I don't know why this is, just the way I am I suppose. If I talk to you about a relationship I'm in or even was in, you're either a really good friend to me and/or you asked about it. The reason this whole personal oddity crossed my mind is because its led to some kind of funny situations over the last month or so that will remain solely mine.
- Month old snow isn't pretty. Go away snow.
- There are a lot of people in the world. A lot. Nothing will help you realize that better than working in a mail center. One of the projects I was working on today involves sending out 30,000 pamphlets to high school seniors across the country. Each one is on its way to a different person with a different story and different experience. One was to a guy named Ken Doll, by the way, which made me laugh. As I worked, though, something that helped me pass the time was looking at some of the names and trying to imagine their story. There's probably someone else in the world that hears a name in that bundle and has their stomach churn for reasons good, bad, or both. There are probably other names in there of people that have done great, extraordinary things the world will never hear about. Everyday I sort through at least one love letter someone else is probably waiting anxiously for. A funny story about that was in a letter written on a postcard that went into graphic detail about what some dude's girlfriend was gonna do to him next time she saw him. GRAPHIC. The whole thing makes me realize that the world is big and even though sometimes I convince myself otherwise, I am I'm not a huge part of it. That would make most people feel really lonely but not me. My experiences matter to me. I may be insignificant, but my life to me and the people I change isn't.
- Music from the 70's is overrated. I don't like it. Any of it. I don't care if it was the influence for modern music. Its one relic of American history I could do without.
- My family is unique. Really unique. Between my four sisters and me there are thousands of ways that we're different from each other. Yeah, there are the similarities; Julie's a little more like I was and Jenna, to a lesser extent is a little more like Jessie. But for five individuals raised under the same roof our various approaches to life and our experiences growing up aren't anything alike. On a bigger scale, the way my whole family interacts and loves each other is very a-typical when I compare them to my friends and their families. I'm really glad. I think the core of all this is my family values responsible individuality more than most and our relationships with each other embody this. I love each and every one of them and knowing they're always there for me is the glue that holds me together even when everything else is falling apart.
- Some people are just plain stupid. No reason to be nice about it. They can't help it and it isn't going to change. They are doomed to a life of being dumb.
- On a similar note, there are some people I look at and can't figure how they can be happy. I was talking to Jeff about one of my coworkers who is just a surly old lady and she can't be older than 27 though the bags under her eyes and the snarl in her face would say otherwise. I know I should probably live in her shoes a day before I really make such a judgement, but I just can't see her enjoying anything much less her life in general.
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- And thats that. Long post I know. I'm sorry. I feel its necessary. I've almost hit the 3 year mark writing in this thing. Three years of my life documented in the form of short nonsensical blurbs. I've come a long way in that time and its fun that I can go back when I want to. If I really feel like digging I've always got my notebook I wrote in before that. Cheers.
posted by Jay | 7:50 PM
1 Comments:
Dear Jay, I love reading your posts.
Love, Britt
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