Midsight
- The human body is incredible. Its ability to gather and process information and the complexity required for us to respond to our environment is absolutely amazing. The more I learn about these processes and the very fine details involved with them the more I can't see how anybody can believe we are who we are; mind, body, and soul by accident. From an engineering perspective we are very fine instruments and with each new complexity I learn, the harder it becomes for me to accept on evolutionary faith that we could have to come together so perfectly and precisely like we did as a species. Its just overall to much to stomach to believe the blunt hammer of nature shaped us like this.
- Even though having to learn about all the tiny processes come together in such sometimes minute and fragile ways is wearing on me stress wise in my studying demands, its fun learning something I don't already know from decades of science classes in the past. Fascinating stuff.
- I realize that I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to really enjoying the things that I learn in my classes and not everybody shares my curiosity on the subject but my recent studying for my Sensation and Perception test on Thursday has these things on my mind and I felt I just had to let it out.
- Anyway, beyond my schoolwork, life is really weighing on me this week. It’s not bad, but it’s defiantly not good and I'm approaching the situation with caution. I don't know why I go digging to make my life difficult sometimes. I think deep down I have a few questions left unanswered that I save somewhere just to give me a place to start over if my life, for whatever reason, chooses to fall apart. A defense mechanism if you will. The trouble with that is if I let it, it can shake the foundations of what I already have. I'm pretty sure this time around, however, I'm not going to let it. After the initial shock wore off I stopped and thought about the effect it had on me. The only reason why it was so surprising was because it’s something I haven't given a care to for almost a year now. And that makes me happy. And determined. I am who I'm becoming, not who I was. Yeah, it’s risky. I'm putting a lot of eggs in this basket, but I think if I'm ever to develop into my full potential I need to take this chance, hell or high water. Perfect isn't going to happen because perfect isn't real. My moment is good and I need to appreciate it as such. I’ll just keep my head down and not let my mind wander into places I know won't make me happy.
- I know I can do this. I know it. If I can't I'm doomed to be a creature of habit and patterns and that will only lead to my destruction. That’s a pretty bold statement but I believe it sincerely and I’m determined not to let it happen.
- My life is good. I just wish sometimes I wouldn't be my own worst enemy.
- Even though having to learn about all the tiny processes come together in such sometimes minute and fragile ways is wearing on me stress wise in my studying demands, its fun learning something I don't already know from decades of science classes in the past. Fascinating stuff.
- I realize that I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to really enjoying the things that I learn in my classes and not everybody shares my curiosity on the subject but my recent studying for my Sensation and Perception test on Thursday has these things on my mind and I felt I just had to let it out.
- Anyway, beyond my schoolwork, life is really weighing on me this week. It’s not bad, but it’s defiantly not good and I'm approaching the situation with caution. I don't know why I go digging to make my life difficult sometimes. I think deep down I have a few questions left unanswered that I save somewhere just to give me a place to start over if my life, for whatever reason, chooses to fall apart. A defense mechanism if you will. The trouble with that is if I let it, it can shake the foundations of what I already have. I'm pretty sure this time around, however, I'm not going to let it. After the initial shock wore off I stopped and thought about the effect it had on me. The only reason why it was so surprising was because it’s something I haven't given a care to for almost a year now. And that makes me happy. And determined. I am who I'm becoming, not who I was. Yeah, it’s risky. I'm putting a lot of eggs in this basket, but I think if I'm ever to develop into my full potential I need to take this chance, hell or high water. Perfect isn't going to happen because perfect isn't real. My moment is good and I need to appreciate it as such. I’ll just keep my head down and not let my mind wander into places I know won't make me happy.
- I know I can do this. I know it. If I can't I'm doomed to be a creature of habit and patterns and that will only lead to my destruction. That’s a pretty bold statement but I believe it sincerely and I’m determined not to let it happen.
- My life is good. I just wish sometimes I wouldn't be my own worst enemy.
posted by Jay | 8:21 PM
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