Inconsistancy of the Human Heart

- Highschool is ending with a sizzle. The overriding tone of my mood these last couple weeks has been a wierd one at best. I've been uncordinated, unfocused, and unmotivated. I delite in my discomfort though. God'll give me strength to do anything and to come through a stronger servant of him. Its truely a strange feeling to be able to be thankful for the hard times. Things are changing. My life is changing. I'm moving on, even if I'm not ready.

- To make matters worse Kristen's heading off to Ohio pretty shortly after the end of the school year. It eats me alive. I was having a meltdown the other night where I was reflecting on my HS carrer and I was regretting things I did, and didn't do. I really wish I could get another shot at it. I know that even if I did I'd still find things I'm not satisfied with but that doesn't help lighten the panic of what seems like an 18 year old midlife crisis. I talked to Kristen later that night and she calmed me down and mad things seem not so overwhelming. I'm not one to be subject to meltdowns so her help was much appreciated. My day doesn't feel complete until I get to talk to her and its going to be real tough not having that support to lean on. She's gotta get a job down there so she can start earning some money before she starts college in Miami-OH. Its ok though. There are bigger problems. Why doesn't that reasure me.

- I've got more to write about but none of it worth addressing so I'm going to go check out my yearbook we got today. I might write more later if I feel compelled. I wish you all the best.