Long and Full of Spelling/Typing Errors. Enjoy.
- Today's post is long and all over the place as the best ones usually are.
- I'm back in Fort Collins after what turned into about a week in and around Aurora. I spent a little time this afternoon when I got back after Jessie's graduation emailing my resume in response to Rampoint job listings. I'll do a little more application work tomorrow and hopefully by the beggining of June I'll have a solid summer job locked up. I could be doing anything from waiting tables at a fishing resort in the mountains to interning through a temp agency at an HR firm. I realized as I was sending in all the applications that I'll really be happy with any job as long as its not fast food or retail.
- I'm planning on going to the midnight showing of the new Pirates movie with Tegan and Mallory tonight so I tried taking a quick power nap after I ate but my mind has been working so hard today that sleep just wasn't happening. Instead I just laid there and thought about, well, everything. I thought back on Audra and the place she's established in my life and history. I thought back on high school and how distant it seemed today at Jessie's graduation. I thought about my grandparents Hardy and how big of a role destiny seems to play in our lives. I thought about how the drive from Denver to Fort Collins seems to get shorter each time and how much I've established a second life up here.
- And finally I thought about happiness. Its something I've been chewing over quite a bit the last few days and I think I'm coming to some sort of realization. Up camping in the mountains Jeff and I walked away from camp across the mountain a bit to see if we could get a better look at the sunset over Estes and we both came to the conclusion that, so far, this has been one of the best summers ever for both of us. I meant it and this confuses me. It really has been a great summer, but I can't think of a single solitary moment where I was estatic or extra-ordinarially happy. This seems almost counter intuitive. To make it great wouldn't it need an equally great highlight moment?
- And all of a sudden the whole concept of happiness became a bit more clear to me. People that win the lottery are unable to sustain the thrill of when they won and suddenly even millions of dollars isn't enough to keep them happy because their bar of demands raised to meet their new income. So many people these days live to try to maintain a super high level of well-being or live their lives working hard so that one day they might be able to "trade in their chips" for all their hard work. I mean, thats the whole concept of retirement. But I think they're going about it all wrong. The secret to happiness is consistency and learning to be happy in the day to day things. We shouldn't live life for the good times ignoring the bad times as that filler between the good times. We should learn to love them all good and bad if for no other reason than the fact that we're living. Happiness is knowing that no matter how things get, I'm gonna be ok. And you know what, I feel that over this past year I've finally realized that. I'm gonna be ok, life is going to go on, the world doesn't stop moving. As bad as things can sometimes be, they always can, and will, be better. And there's a lot of hope in that.
- Sorry for the babble. I felt it had been awhile since I had an intellectual beltch and doing so can be theraputic.
- I'm back in Fort Collins after what turned into about a week in and around Aurora. I spent a little time this afternoon when I got back after Jessie's graduation emailing my resume in response to Rampoint job listings. I'll do a little more application work tomorrow and hopefully by the beggining of June I'll have a solid summer job locked up. I could be doing anything from waiting tables at a fishing resort in the mountains to interning through a temp agency at an HR firm. I realized as I was sending in all the applications that I'll really be happy with any job as long as its not fast food or retail.
- I'm planning on going to the midnight showing of the new Pirates movie with Tegan and Mallory tonight so I tried taking a quick power nap after I ate but my mind has been working so hard today that sleep just wasn't happening. Instead I just laid there and thought about, well, everything. I thought back on Audra and the place she's established in my life and history. I thought back on high school and how distant it seemed today at Jessie's graduation. I thought about my grandparents Hardy and how big of a role destiny seems to play in our lives. I thought about how the drive from Denver to Fort Collins seems to get shorter each time and how much I've established a second life up here.
- And finally I thought about happiness. Its something I've been chewing over quite a bit the last few days and I think I'm coming to some sort of realization. Up camping in the mountains Jeff and I walked away from camp across the mountain a bit to see if we could get a better look at the sunset over Estes and we both came to the conclusion that, so far, this has been one of the best summers ever for both of us. I meant it and this confuses me. It really has been a great summer, but I can't think of a single solitary moment where I was estatic or extra-ordinarially happy. This seems almost counter intuitive. To make it great wouldn't it need an equally great highlight moment?
- And all of a sudden the whole concept of happiness became a bit more clear to me. People that win the lottery are unable to sustain the thrill of when they won and suddenly even millions of dollars isn't enough to keep them happy because their bar of demands raised to meet their new income. So many people these days live to try to maintain a super high level of well-being or live their lives working hard so that one day they might be able to "trade in their chips" for all their hard work. I mean, thats the whole concept of retirement. But I think they're going about it all wrong. The secret to happiness is consistency and learning to be happy in the day to day things. We shouldn't live life for the good times ignoring the bad times as that filler between the good times. We should learn to love them all good and bad if for no other reason than the fact that we're living. Happiness is knowing that no matter how things get, I'm gonna be ok. And you know what, I feel that over this past year I've finally realized that. I'm gonna be ok, life is going to go on, the world doesn't stop moving. As bad as things can sometimes be, they always can, and will, be better. And there's a lot of hope in that.
- Sorry for the babble. I felt it had been awhile since I had an intellectual beltch and doing so can be theraputic.
posted by Jay | 9:09 PM
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