An Inconsistant Routine is Killing Me

- So the last few days have been a whole lot of nothing. Hanging out with the Brittany's was fun as usual and filled up my emotional gastank for another week. I worked yesterday and was cut really early which really put me in a good mood. That and the relaxing cloudy weather put me in one of those feelings where you really have nothing at all on your mind and you can just chill out. Everyone was going to get together that Friday night but I got a voicemail on my phone from Jenny that, as usual, most people canceled because things came up as the typically do and I was dissapointed but ok with it. My house was quiet and empty thanks to my family heading up to Breckenridge for the night and I considered seeing if anybody wanted to come over and do something mindless with me but my lazy nature got the best of me and I spent my Friday night relaxing, eating my free food from work, playing guitar, and really just enjoying one the few times in my life where I get to experience complete silence and calm.

- More of the same awaited me in the morning when I woke up and puttered around a little bit before work. Work was ok. My RM Amy came in half an hour before I was off and she was in a terrible terrible mood yelling at Raul mercilessly and anybody that looked at her wrong. I was glad her shift only overlapped mine a little and before long I was out of there back to my house. When I got back my family was home at they seemed a little high strung from the trip. I'm not to worried. I'll just keep my head down and bide my time like I've done all summer and plan do to for the rest of the summer. I was talking to Brittany yesterday about the summer time depression and I really hope that I'm not setting myself up for massive dissapointment come the fall. We reasoned through it and I think I'm safe but I'm just really not happy here and the thing thats keeping me going through my bland and often stressful summer is the hope of something better. I don't know what I'd do if that hope turned out to be empty.

- If nothing else I've got my weekly time with Britt and Brittany, the scattered times I see home friends, and the big annual summer Water World should be comming up here within the next two weeks. Michaela's planning that but I've got a bad feeling in my stomach that if I don't do something tomorrow that's got a pretty good chance of falling through like last night and I remember last year, that picked me up in a way nothing else could so I should get on that.

- Overall, I'm just ready for something better. And I know its comming. It always does.