This is Stupid

- Money is going to be the death of me this summer. If all I had to pay back was the money I borrowed from my dad last semester it would be a piece of cake and I would probably even enjoy my summer more. Most of my stress this summer has stemmed in one way or another from my money problems. Out of nowhere last semester my dad decided that I was going to be responsible for my deposit on the house which adds another 400 dollars to my summer bill to pay off. That really is a tough amount on top of the money I already owe him with the terrible pay and cost of gas for the commute to work that I'm responsible for. In the long run its really not such a big deal because it's money I'll be getting back once we move out and its really chump change compared to the huge amount of financially help I'm getting from my parents for living expenses next year which I'm so greatful for but I've been stressing out about it over this last week as my cash reserves have been getting smaller and my hours at work haven't been living up to expectations. On top of that I'm spending bank in gas costs which stresses me out because I can't afford it and to keep me from paying over 100 a month in gas I've got to constantly be fighting with my family to try and keep things balanced. The system we've got set up right now is terrible and easily exploited both by me and them and thats not a good way to do things because its vauge and there's no way to know who's really right, so until that can be proved, everyone's wrong since I drive the most, I've got to foot the entire bill for the later 3/4's of the month. I do use most of the gas and if I am getting screwed like I feel I am, its not dramatic, but with my need to pinch every penny as it already is, its not something I can just ignore and suck up. We'll be logging miles next month and from experience, that doesn't really fix anything because once they're logged we can't really do anything with them but in theory its a good attempt at a solution and if anything it'll keep people from driving it down to fumes right before I need it which is almost more stressful than actually having to pay to fill it back up. I've thought about trying to get a second job but its really not an option with only two months of availability left and I guess I'm just going to have to get creative to make everything work. I'm sure everything will work out for me financially in the end but that really doesn't make the here and now any less stressful. It feels like I'm in the middle of watching a horror and I know the plot's gonna resolve itself in the end but right now, I'm stressed and anxious and just ready for it to be over.

- Something else has been bothering me. I feel my privacy has been violated and I've got a paraniod feeling like someone else has been reading my diary. Its not this blog, for the most part I don't care who reads this. There's no real depth or serious issues here. But I've learned that I need to think of a new password to use for everything and get rid of the old one because some people know no boundaries when it comes to trust. The greatest predictor of future actions are past actions and I should have known better.

- So if you haven't figured out from the overall tone of this post, things recently have been fairly stressful and flustering and I hate it. Its not all bad news though. Good old Tim Swales gave me a call last night and me, him, and Lauren Morales hung out a Village Inn for awhile and saw Nacho Libre at the Chinese Mann. It was a real good time. He never stops cracking me up and I've decided I need to call him to hang out more often. I feel bad because I never really call him and he could make anything fun. He and I made fun of each other's schools for awhile (he's a Buff) and we exchanged stories and good times. Lauren brought up, as she never fails to do, the time I used to give her crap about having a Hispanic last name and something about a green card, and the three of us just more of less caught up about what'd been happening in our lives since the last time we saw each other over Winter Break. It was fun and I gotta remember to call them again soon because I miss the good times.

- So for the rest of the day I get to run a bunch of erands I've been procrastinating for awhile and then work. Stupid work. I've only got 11 hours on the next schedual and each of the 11 hours makes it impossible for me to do various things that I really want to do including a BBQ and poker game Adam's setting up, a camping trip, a big pool party, and even Sunday night basketball. The time I have off nothing is happening. It was a nightmare schedual and I hope the trend doesn't continue.

- No more procrastinating.