Good Things and Bad Things

- I feel like a kid sitting in the last class of the day watching the clock with his head on his desk, arms dangling at his side. Its not the last couple seconds; really its more that awkward time where the waiting has been going on for awhile but the end isn't really in plain sight. I watch every second tick by and I'm unable to look away, even though that's whats best. I'll drive myself crazy before I can find the strength to do whats best for me and only every now and then do I catch myself myself doing it. I must look like an idiot to people once they really get to know me. Thats the stupid part of my personality I try real hard to hide from people. I get itches that I have to scratch and no matter how much I convince myself I'm above it, I'll fall back into the same old traps. Its nothing major I guess. I'm not saving myself anything more than another 24 hours of back of my mind anxiety but man, it'd be nice to not to have that. I guess its life though.

- I'm gonna be making a lot of decisions this coming year. I don't feel ready but there's a bit of me that knows everything is gonna be ok. I feel like I'm wasting some of the prime time in my life and I hope get things figured out pretty soon.