Right Behind You

- Working at camp this summer has been a God-send for me. Perfectly timed and formated to fixing me. One of the worst feelings to me is feeling like I've stagnated or worse yet am recessing. I think just the fact that this is such a big deal to me is one of my biggest character flaws. It seems like I'm one of the only people I know held down so consistently by existential tendancies. Its embarassing really but theres nothing I can do about but just keep moving to make sure I don't get stuck. Getting stuck is something I seem to be really good at.

- I'm nervous, I'm not gonna lie. So many things have to go smoothly and recently smooth doesn't seem to be my strong point.

"I don't feel like I'm living in the same skin anymore"

- Maybe I'll find a passion on the east coast. Driving around today listening to a song by Josh Woodard which has become a guilty pleasure for me I realized that about a month or two ago I murdered the one passion I had, half out of anger and half out of necessity. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all emo on you, its not a depressing state to be in, if it was then maybe the necessity part would be derived in pride. The feeling is more of a stale one. As if I'm bursting at the seams with potential to be something and I just can't find the spark; the lock to get me out of my box.

- I want to do it all. And I'm going to. But as much as I tell myself otherwise, I'm still working towards having the confidence and courage. I guess everyone is. Its part of growing up. But my times' coming. June 16th I'm going to try and take of my leash and take some chances. It'll be good for me.