The Sun's Gettin' Easier for Me to Look At
- My posts are getting less frequent. That's equal parts good and bad I guess. Probably a little more bad for reasons I won't waste time with. I guess if I had found better outlets it'd be just fine but as it is, said outlets are few and far between. Its kind of funny the strange places they show up though, in the people I never expect and the situations I almost overlook. Just keep chuggin I spose'. Things happen as they're supposed to.
- Anyway, tonight was great. The Rockies lost 13-1 but I spent the whole night hanging out with some of my true best friends in the world and I don't think they'd disagree with me saying we had a great time. The roadtrip to Lubbock planned for this weekend was canceled on account of Rockies games. I don't mind. There's nowhere else I'd rather be for these games than Colorado. Its just too bad the World Series had to fall on this weekend of all weekends though. I think the trip alone would have been really good for me; one of those mind clearing things especially since it was to Lubbock. I have so much history there. I love Fort Collins and its not like I'm dying to get out, but there's a freedom in the novelty of the open road that is uniquely American. Even just bike rides around town like I took in those first lonely couple of weeks this last summer is enough to give you a fresh perspective on things. Feeling like a stranger in your situation isn't always such a bad thing.
- I've really got my own things going on up here now. At times that really scares me. As if it indicates the old me is dead along with everything I loved attached to it. I don't want to get to philosophical or existential but when I really think about it I realize how fast life moves and how little things I thought were important once mattered I get overwhelmed and panic. Even things that really did matter back then don't now. I guess thats just the nature of life but its humbling and something in my pride really doesn't like being humbled. Life is beautiful but not beautiful in the way a girl is beautiful. Its beautiful in the way years of heartbreak and pain can pour out of a worn man's guitar. Beautiful in the way a funeral is beautiful. Beautiful in the way the soul and hope of a slave's song is beautiful. Depressing beautiful, I guess, but in a way that is uniquely wonderful.
- All you can do is hold on to the people that make you a better person be it staying close to them or keeping them in your thoughts and letting go of the people that make your world a little darker.
- Well, its past my bedtime and not setting limits in my sleeping habits has been hurting me recently so goodnight.
- Anyway, tonight was great. The Rockies lost 13-1 but I spent the whole night hanging out with some of my true best friends in the world and I don't think they'd disagree with me saying we had a great time. The roadtrip to Lubbock planned for this weekend was canceled on account of Rockies games. I don't mind. There's nowhere else I'd rather be for these games than Colorado. Its just too bad the World Series had to fall on this weekend of all weekends though. I think the trip alone would have been really good for me; one of those mind clearing things especially since it was to Lubbock. I have so much history there. I love Fort Collins and its not like I'm dying to get out, but there's a freedom in the novelty of the open road that is uniquely American. Even just bike rides around town like I took in those first lonely couple of weeks this last summer is enough to give you a fresh perspective on things. Feeling like a stranger in your situation isn't always such a bad thing.
- I've really got my own things going on up here now. At times that really scares me. As if it indicates the old me is dead along with everything I loved attached to it. I don't want to get to philosophical or existential but when I really think about it I realize how fast life moves and how little things I thought were important once mattered I get overwhelmed and panic. Even things that really did matter back then don't now. I guess thats just the nature of life but its humbling and something in my pride really doesn't like being humbled. Life is beautiful but not beautiful in the way a girl is beautiful. Its beautiful in the way years of heartbreak and pain can pour out of a worn man's guitar. Beautiful in the way a funeral is beautiful. Beautiful in the way the soul and hope of a slave's song is beautiful. Depressing beautiful, I guess, but in a way that is uniquely wonderful.
- All you can do is hold on to the people that make you a better person be it staying close to them or keeping them in your thoughts and letting go of the people that make your world a little darker.
- Well, its past my bedtime and not setting limits in my sleeping habits has been hurting me recently so goodnight.
posted by Jay | 1:03 AM
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