The Wrench of Reason

- And so this Spring Break, like most things in life, must come to an end. It has been a relaxing one at best which does little for explaining why I've got a killer headache. I'm not a headache person, I just don't get em, so when I do, I know it.

- I had an interesting day today. It was a day of self-examination. I had an unusually long and vivid dream last night that had me briefly re-live my last couple years on this earth and examine the mistakes I've made and how they may one day come to haunt me in the future. Ironically, I also found my journal I kept throughout the duration of my sixteenth year. So in between aeration calls, (I only had like 20 of them today) I sat down in my room in my green thinkin' chair and read through my journal. I was a very insiteful 16 year which brings me to the question of why I was such an idiot. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want that even though reality is sitting right there in front of us, we imagine its wearing a tutu, so to speak, because the balerina reality is a lot more cool or shiny or can dance better than the truth. I wasn't foolin myself. Honestly, I wasn't even trying. I knew, at the ripe young age of 16, who I was, yet I wasn't happy with it. I don't see how that can make any sense to anyone but me and what I'm trying to say is very difficult to portray in words. Its not really important to portray in words anyway so I'll just drop it. Anyway, it was very theraputic for me and I made one last entry in that journal, years after the last entry. I've closed one chapter in my life and I'm ready to start another. I hope I'm creating a book worth reading.