If only...

- Suprisingly today was a day dominated by school work. I elected to not go to my English class in favor of sleeping in and then spent the next 4 hours of my off hour writing a paper on, of all things stress. This was no ordinary paper mind you. This was a research paper. That means four hours of writing and 11 pages of information was, though only a mandatory rough draft, not enough. Ironically it was on, of all things, stress. I can tell you honestly without wavering, I learned a lot about stress today. I got it done however and the feeling was good. By the time I hand in my final draft on Tuesday it will be around 30 pages based on the amount of information my teacher said I was missing. Oh well. Its the end of high school. Why not go out about it with a bang, huh? That brings me to my other point. 3 DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT! I still haven't shaken off the truth of this bitter sweet fact. My summers gonna be a blast. College is going to be a blast. Leaving these people (and them leaving me) that I love? Not a blast. I think today was the very first time in my life that I have ever been dissapointed at having to drive to school as opposed to being dropped off.

- Dinner with the Fenwicks last night was without a doubt an adventure. My stupid dentist appointment ran long so they went on ahead and Kristen waited at her house so she would go with me. Jessie had the car so my dad dropped me off at Kristen's house and she drove. Bless her heart the girl cannot follow directions for the life of her. We were driving for about an hour when I realized we had made it all the way to my aunt's old house in Littleton which was about half an hour past our destination of Hacienda Colorado. With some frantic phone calls to her parents and some helpful advice we slowly but surely worked our way back in the general vicinity of the restaurant. Kristen felt so terrible about making her brother wait that she was freaking out to no means. After recognizing the wrong building to be the restaurant about 12 times, Kristen lost focus and due to a lasp in attention turned into the wrong lane facing the flow of traffic. There were no cars on the road and had one not slowly came around the corner you never would have known it, but Kristen swears the situation was a cheat on death. Its just because shes the type of girl that is afraid to make a U-turn or a right on red. Shes so cute when shes panicky. I was trying so hard not to laugh because I didn't want her to feel bad. Well we finally got there and ordered food and just sat and chatted. Her mom did most of the chatting. Shes a very talkative yet undeniably friendly woman. I love Kristen's mom. At one point she was talking about Kristen and her homecoming experience and asked me if I had gone. I hadn't gone this year and she shook her head and said "yeah, you two really shoulda met sooner". Great. She's absolutley right but it just yanked me back down to earth making me realize that we really do only have about 3 more weeks before she moves. I know it'll be difficult but I do a pretty good job about not looking at the facts. This incredible girl that I've grown so close to is gonna be gone from life; right when I thought I had it all figured out. I really don't see what she could see in me that would make her so crazy about me. I've never wanted to talk to and spend time with a person so bad. I was faking it with Audra. With the others, I didn't even put forth the effort to fake it.They understood I wasn't commited. My day isn't complete unless I can spend a couple of hours just relaxin at her house watching Alias. The show itself is even starting to get interesting. Gods teaching me through this. I'm gonna learn something. Even if I don't like it.

- Even though I'm crazy about her, I've still got my priorities straight. I'm not gonna ditch the boys just because I've got another half. Shes unusually cool about this too. Kristen is more adimate that I don't abandon my other friends for her than I am. So I went out tonight with Tim, Scott, and a guy I'd never met before named Jake. He was cool. He had a funny laugh though. Matt never showed up. We saw the movie Kingdom of Heaven. The plot was very similar to the producer's other movie Gladiator and the big battle scene was really kinda cool. The message was a terrible message though. It was big anti-Christian propoganda film. The morals were those of an agnostic, a craze sweeping the nations youth that drives me crazy in its complete lack of common sense and faith in the favor of a self-richeous "I know best" attitude. It was alright though. Watching a movie with these fellas is something in and of itself. They're a riot. A whole bundle of fun to be around.

- And thus ends my last full week of school. I've got to work at the Johnson's early and all day tomorrow. Not particularly thrilled about it but I'm gonna take a good attitude towards. It'll be fun if I make it fun. I'm not gonna be the stick in the mud that brings everybody down. Besides, this work actually has meaning. Meaning is good.

-Till then...