Figure it Out

- Rocky Votolato has a new CD out. This discovery alone has made my week. Rocky plays the music that touches me on the deepest level. Its almost spiritual everytime I sit down and dig into one of his albums. It gets me excited, pensive, and heartbroken all in one strange sweeping emotion. Unique for sure.

- And good thing too. Anything but Rocky Votolato couldn't really suffice to seranade my weird 2 o' clock rambling. She makes me feel powerless. I suppose that could be a good thing. Its not a feeling I have to deal with often, but part of that is cause I don't lend myself often to things I have no control over. I don't really have a choice here. I'm trying too hard to read between the lines but, to extend the metaphor, the text might as well be in another language. Maybe its her, maybe its the situation, hell maybe its me. I just need to let my guard down and just go with the flow. Easier said than done. Really, there's not much on the table so theres not much to lose and thats what it all really boils down to.

- Good first weekend all around though. I'm glad its getting a little cooler outside. Fall is just around the corner and with it comes hoodie weather, college football, my birthday, and my favorite time of the year when the leaves start changing colors. I'm kind of sad I'm done with the math mods because taking those little late afternoon strolls down a leaf covered Laurel to the spectacular scene of the Oval in autumn became something I looked forward to, even if my rainbow replaced the pot of gold with a math test.

"You need to buy the textbook" - All my professors

- I'm back in the swing of things. Back to my routine of class during the day, dinner, then going to the library all night. My out of classwork this semester is going to be intense. All 18 of my credits require about a chapter of textbook reading a night, and in addition to that many of them are going to give me homework as well. It's a lot of work but I think I'm prepared for it. Some of the information is interesting, some isn't but I discovered after two and half hours of textbook reading just flew by that when I get in study mode, not a lot can shake me and even the driest of matieral gets chewed up and swallowed.

- Really, the jist of it is I'm enjoying the semester and I haven't even done any of the fun stuff yet. I'm on two flag football teams to my suprise, one with Dustin and one with Mallory. My experience with intramural flag football has been quite up and down, but the coed nature of this league should help take some of the edge off. Football , specifically the big game, and Volleyball season are just around the corner as well as Jeff's college birthday party. A lot to look foward to.

- Tiffany's been talking about a roadtrip to Colorado. I feel bad that I haven't been as accessable to her as I should be but the nature of my phone plan and my history of sucking at the phone in addition to a few other things have made it difficult. I guess I won't worry about it too much. You just kinda gotta take things like this for what they are. It'd be cool if she came though.

- All in all, its just good to be back. I'm not taking that for granted quite yet.

Phone Numbers and Class Scheduals

- The second half of my college career starts tomorrow. I feel older. And not just cause I'm entering part II of CSU. I actually feel that I've come a long way since a couple years ago. Things that were big to me just post high school have lost thier shine and others that used to scare aren't the things that get my heart pounding anymore. I'm not claiming maturity or even more maturity. Its just that I now have something I used to lack: experience. Its an amazing feeling that I'm a little more able to handle myself more in this new independence but depressing at the same time that I'm losing my childhood I've grown to cherish so much. I just hope don't lose sight of it entirely.

- Class tomorrow will be good. This semester has a ton of potential for adventure and I'm eager to dive into it. A little much needed perspective today reminded me not to get too far ahead of myself which I think will be the theme of the coming months.

- That and trying to tie up the loose ends I've kinda made for myself recently. We'll see how that goes.

The Old Reality

- Its good to be home in Fort Collins. My head hit the pillow on my bed last night after I was stuck in a late night construction traffic jam and it was the best night's sleep that I can remember in a long time. I spent the morning cleaning, unpacking, then hanging up all the maps and memoriabilia that I collected over the summer. I really like them. Some people may feel cluttered walking into my room as I have nic naks and decorations on almost the entire surface of the wall now, but to me, its very personal and comforatable. I'm happy with how it looks.

- After that, I ran some "back to the house" errands in the afternoon before I found a spot on the couch and hung out with Jeff for a bit. Britt and Brittany came over and we shot the breeze a bit before I toured each of their new digs. We met Isaac at Britt's and played a lil Smash Bros before comming back home to a solid card game of Hand and Foot with Adam, Jeff, and Isaac. All in all it was fun yet very familiar. Familiarity is something I haven't experienced in awhile.

- Sometimes I wish I could talk a little less carefully and a little more openly on this thing but I've spent the last half hour trying to bubblewrap it without luck so I guess I'll just wait until I can find a way to at least word it so nobody gets the wrong idea or takes it for what its not. Its nothing bad, just sensitive.

- I miss the stars and having fingers run through my hair. I hope at least that's not a secret.

For a Living

- I'm back. And thank God for that too. If it wasn't for a really generous move by my parent's I probably would still be in Boston Logan paying out my butt for overpriced food wondering if I'd ever get home.

- It's weird being back. Really, really good but weird. It feels almost like I never left. Almost as if my time at Jew camp in the White Mountains was all just a dream. Getting back into the swing of things won't take anytime at all.

- I miss my kids a little and my coworkers a lot. I was a little tentative going into camp about the people I'd be working with but I was completely wrong. It felt like a convention of people that I would click with was underway. In my eagerness to get back to Colorado I didn't really realize that in doing so I was also separating, potentially for a really long time, from people I have really grown close to. On the bright side, its awesome having connections all over the country now. I discovered my love of traveling this summer and knowing people all over the place helps out a lot. I'm already in the process of planning my next adventure.

- I have story after story about things that happened in and around CWW but the last thing I want to have my life defined as a former camp counsiler so for the most part I'll try and make this be one of the last posts on the matter. I need to start looking forward to whats ahead of me now.

- Like school. Which starts in a little over a week. That in itself is an intimidating, but exciting idea. I've got more than ever to look foward to this semester. I predicted last semester would be a really important time for change for me and change filled it was. I answered the questions that were hanging in the back of my head and the freedom of having the monkey off my back is really nice. I have the world in front of me now.

- For now though, I'm just enjoying the mountains, listening to Trace Bundy and reminicing on all the good times.