Ugg...

- Its been a slow spring break so far. I've been working a lot. In a matter of days I went from dead broke to a couple of hundred dollars rich with my mega tax refunds and lawn aeration raking in cash. Its wierd for me having so much money because I've been near penniless for about 3 months. I'm doing my best not to spend too much of it and have limited my spending to new guitar stings and some gas.

- Other than work I haven't been doing a heck of a lot. Everyone's out of town and I don't have anything to do. Its noisy and boring ar0und my house. I don't think it'd be so bad if I made more of an effort but my lingering cold makes it hard for me to get any sleep at night so I don't have any energy to just get up and call someone and go do something. I know I know. "Winners make plays, Jay, Whiners make excuses." Man, I lost track of what I was talking about. I can't focus. I write more when Jenna and her friends are finished playing thier screaming games.

VROOOOOOOOOOOM RIP RIP RIP RIP SCRIIIIIIIAAATCHHH!!! BANG BANG BANG!

- This was the symphony of noise that introduced me to this wonderful day at about 7 o' clock in the morning. So much for sleeping in. My mom was sick of the carpet in our living room so they decided to rip it up and put in ugly shaggy brown grandpa carpet. I tried to just cover my head with my pillow and ignore it but that was no good. I finally gave up and came groggily downstairs to the carpet installing couple with thier Sturgis motorcycle tee-shirts, beerbellies (even the lady) and stories of thier 50 year old promiscious siblings. Yipee. The padres have been in kind of a sour mood these last couple of days so I'm trying to keep my head low and so far I think I've been doing a pretty good job. Jessie hasn't been as lucky though and she's caught a lot of thier flak. They are argueing intensly as I speak over some issue or another. I got yelled at for opening a chip bag too loudly while my mom was taking a nap. I hate how light sleepers they are. They literally aren't able to sleep if I sit in my room and whisper to myself, and if they can't sleep, all is not well with the world and I'll hear about it.

- I broke a string yesterday. It made me happy because in the two years I've had that guitar, I've had the same pair of strings which is a phenomonally long time to go on one set. I had pretty much played the coating off of the strings and the tone was suffering a little bit. I'd have felt guilty having to cut off a string when all 6 were still intact so I was ok with it breaking. It also gave me an excuse to head on down to Guitar Center which is a good way for me to relax and chill. Its something about the drive up there and being able to play on beautiful guitars I'll never be able to afford that lets me get my thoughts in order and unwind. I picked up a set of bronze coated Martin stings and I can't wait to put them on and hear my baby sound like the day I brought it home. It'll also add something to the asthetics but thats not real important, just a plus.

- God really caught my attention yesterday. I've been thinking more and more as I get closer to college to find out why I bieleve what I bieleve and why I'm a Southern Baptist as opposed to anyother sect of Christianity. I bieleve God has me in the right church and denomonation, but I just want to make sure that I'm not simpily the product of my raising and that the Southern Baptist's bielefs truely parrallel the absolute truth towards all aspects of religion. I stumbled across The Baptist Faith and Message which was a document published by the Southern Baptists establishing what we bieleve and why drawing tons of scripture to back our bielefs. I started on the first of 14 points about what we bieleve about the perfect gift of scripture and went through and examined every verse they provided for evidence. It spoke dirrectly to the questions I had and presented, through the Bible, comfort from God. It was a truely supernatural experience and sent chills through my spine. I recomend anyone that has questions about the Southern Baptists to check it out. Its very legalistic in its wording but is well backed and eye-opening.

- I've got some aeration to do and I'm going to them alone since Jordan is out of town which is ok with me because it means I'm making twice the pay. In a stroke of genious I set up the apointments for this evening before the sun goes down to make sure I can enjoy the rest of the day in the name of idle relaxation. Mission completed.

- Well, I've got a guitar to string, then work to do, and a night of fun filled companionship. Have a good one.

The way it shoulda been.

- Its real nice being able to get together with all the guys and just hang out. Two intense games of Risk Friday night followed by Wendy's and some good movie watching. Jacob, Jared, and Jordan went home at various times to the comforts of thier own beds but me, Brandon, and Cliff roughed it out at Cliffs house sleepin on the floor in his empty room. I forgot how much fun it was just chattin it up about life but the three of us just sat there and just talked about everything and anything until what must of been 4 in the morning when we finally turned out the lights and went to sleep. I slept there until about noon when I came home. Watched a lil basketball and took a nap until about 5 when they woke me up again to head on down to the rec center. We played some basketball and I rolled on my ankle again. Its swelling up again but it doesn't hurt so I d0n't think I did much more than agravating it. We then headed over to Brandon's for some pool and more chill time. We got an intense game of Madden going with me and Jared representing the Eagles against Brandon and Cliff as the Patriots. In an overtime thriller me and Jared triumphed. Too bad the same couldn't be said for the real super bowl.

- Easter Sunday tommorow morning which is usually packed. Its the first one in the new sanctuary so I'm curious to see how packed its going to be. It feels good to be on Spring break knowing I've got some sweet sweet rest in front of me as well as fun packed days.

As Romantic as Monday Morning

- I love comming home in the middle of the school day. Taking a nap when everyone else is taking tests is a beautiful thing. I got the title of this entry from an AP prompt I read in English about an hour ago because it kind of stuck with me. Its an excelent analogy and I think I'm going to add it to my repetuar. I think its the mediocre times in life that makes the rest of them so beautiful and I can be thankful for them too.

- Most of my friends are going out of town either on college visits, family reunions, or family vacations. Thats cool. I'm content to have a relaxed spring break and my boys are still in town so we'll get a chance to hang out and do the lazy crap we used to do. It kind of sucks having Cliff up in college because we were always hangin out and filling time over breaks like this, but at least I get to see him on the weekends. I think we get along so because we relate on a lot of the issues of life. Its going to be nice having time to jam with the band over the break. We don't get to do much jamming recently because our plans always seem to fall through, but a whole week off doesn't offer them as much opportunity to do so.

- Well, thats all for now. I'm going to go take advantage of that nap I was bragging about.

A continuing commitment

PROVERBS 17:27-28

- I'm still learning things. I'm not at a elevated level of maturity by any means and I've got to understand that even when I have an opinion, I need to think about how its going to impact others. I'm sorry. I can be man enough to know and admit when I'm wrong. I'm wrong.

- We started aeration today. It was snowy, but when you have two aerators chuggin away at the same time, the yards get done really quickly. Jordans catching on. He still needs my dad's help on the edges but he'll get it down before long and we'll be a money making machine. Today's earnings were pretty good but its all going towards gas. I need a little in the slush fund to do what I wanna do.

- I had my adventure today. I went to my first Catholic mass with Kristen and it was really something. I had expectations of what it'd be like and it blew me away. It was completely different than the way us crazy Baptists run things. The ceremony and setup of everything from the sanctuary to the songs to the sermon was something I had never seen before. It was fun seeing things from the other side of the parking lot. I got to see a myriad of different with incencse and feetwashing. It was fascinating. I felt a lil out of place during certain parts but, well, thats because I was. I'm glad I went and I consider my horizons officially broadened now. It made a pretty bad day a little better.

- Everyone please pray for Daniel. His tank in Iraq was hit by an anti-tank gernade and he suffered injuries due to shrapanal and as I'm writing this, hes in a hospital in German. Hes going to ship home as soon as he stabalizes and I just pray to God he makes it that far. Daniel's a good guy hes one of the last people that deserves to die.

- Sorry this post isn't jovial. Its been a solemn day and I'd rather keep it a little bit more serious and mellow.

I didn't know it fit like that...

- Grey days make me happy. I think its just nice seeing something new in the face of these dang 300 days of Colorado sunny sunshine, but I really like looking at the rain and how protected the world seems when everything gets a little darker, kind of like a dim light keeping everyone inside. Anyway today was one of those days and it was really relaxing. I think my nightly guitar therapy session went particularly well as a result of it. It made the sounds I wanted it to and really tapped into my thoughts making for a real fulfilling spiritual experience. Buying my baby was one of the best purchases I've ever made. I'm gonna have that guitar forever and the more I play it, the richer the sound gets. My mom though I was crazy last year when I walked in the door with the beautiful piece of art I obviously couldn't afford and she was convinced I had wasted 700 dollars. Even shes convinced now that it was a great buy. Sure I like playing the electric with the boys, but its sound depends on a bunch of pesky little knobs and I'm hardly ever happy with what sound I get out of it or what I force into it and its really a hit or miss in terms of sounding good. The Martin plays with itself and acousitcal guitar has endless opportunity for intrepretation. I love it. I'm in a wierd mood right now, not bad, just wierd so this post is kind of turning existential and hazy leading to innane ramblings. Sorry.

- I had an incredible idea today. It came to me in a dream almost. I was looking foward to putting this divinely inspired idea into action all day, and then it just didn't work. I completly dropped the ball. Man was I bummed. I had the chance to fulfill my adventure goal along with a couple of other goals I'm working toward and it just didn't work out. It killed me. Ok, not so much but I was disappointed.

- Alright this post isn't makin any sense. I blame it on the mind altering sickness currently haunting ma bady. I'm pulling the plug. Till then...

When things go right...

- Anyone ever have one those weeks where its blantanly obvious God is blessing you but for the life of you you can't figure out why? I'm having one of those months. I hope its not a calm before the storm, but what can I say, life is good. It doesn't take much to get me happy these days and its a lot harder to bring me down. God's so good to me. Why do I have to be such a jerk to him.

- Anyway we had a jazz concert tonight. The beggining choirs that also preformed were fairly flat and uninteresting and even though I knew our preformance would be a lot more fun to listen to, I was really dreading it because our songs were very difficult and we only had a little bit of practice time on them and the rehersals were sloppy and poor. But when we stepped up and started playing we just locked in and rocked the preformance. We sounded like a kind of band that would play at Dazzle. My trumpet solo was spectacular as well if I do say so myself with all my notes having lots of shape and form and body. I was happy with it as I am not normally am. I'm glad the Zster asked me to join the Advanced Jazz Ensemble this year because a preformance like this was really fufilling. Kinda a downer to know they've already gotten my replacement in line though for when I graduate. Its ok, it was fun.

- I just picked up a pen pal. A couple of years ago I was looking for one and couldn't find anybody but Norwiegan teenage girls looking to practice thier English and that was really unfulfilling. I guess my ad stayed on the site and I got an email a couple days ago from a girl in Ohio that shares a lot of intrests with me. We're exchanging e-mails and its fun. I'm not big on talking to strangers on the internet but shes pretty cool and its always good to get another perspective on life, even over the internet.

- Not a particularly lengthy entry today and I'm not feeling real motivated to proof read it for typos and wierd sentances so deal with it. Always remeber,

"don't take life to seriously, it ruins the joke" - Jay

And what I really need, is what makes me bleed.

-Good weekend. I never have until this past month, truely understood the value there is in a rich, comforatable converstation and its effects on my mood and my day.

- I'll sum up the weekend in a few words that will not do it justice to its complexities and denseness. Jammin, sleepin, wakin, skiin, crushin, bruisin, callin, chillin, enrichen, mornin, moutain, eatin, scoutin, skatein, podukin, snowballin, shrimpin, dozin, soccerin, cousilin, seekin, defeatin, alarmin, churchin, adventurin, arena footballin, cake eatin, TP storytellin, actin, boundin, bloggin.

-Add an ' to the end of each of those if you wish. Thats a pretty good summary of my last 5 days.

AND NOW IT'S............................

Philisophical Hour With Jay

-Welcome Ladies and gents to PHWJ. Todays topic is relationships. In my 18 years I've learned that in almost ever case, relationships in high school do not last. Whats the point then you ask? Development I answer. By dating in our youth we learn who we are, what is love, and how better treat that idealistic ever distant final true love spouse of the future. Its incredible, from my experiences and those of my peers, watching a truth I've discovered about young love. How much you put in does not equal how much you get out. It equals how much it hurts when it ends. I've seen people put everything into relationships that are destined not to last (again, nothing wrong with that), and been there to comfort some in those final days when they finally realize that emotional ductape will not saved a doomed relationship and, to extend the metaphore, costs a large portion of thier youth, happiness, and self at the Home Depot that is life. Young love is a beautiful thing, but we really just gotta understand when its time to let go and get on with our lives. To many people will hang on to a Titanic relationship in the name of "love". True love is delicate and difficult and most young couples thinking they are in love have missed it completely. Its unselfish, unlike lust, and requires a complete sacrifice of ones self. Most teens can't handle this, and thats when things turn south. Those that can, often find the wrong person or push thier poker chips on the Texas Hold'em table of life all in when their person sitting across from then is unfortunantly bluffing. I know, its a terrible metaphore with many fallacies but tough; if you gotta problem with it punk you can shove it. Patience in finding the right person is a virtue (Technically and Philospohically its not, but thats a subject for a different PHWJ)

Its a great thing when you think you've found someone that you can share your life with, even if it may have the chance of not ever being permanant.

Mountain Man

- Its been a good day. I've acomplished my adventure goal for this week twofold. One is private and the other involves the ski-trip today. I went up with Michaela (I'll never learn how to spell that), Jordan, and Bill - all three very talented at what they do. We got, oh about 10 FREAKIN INCHES of fresh baby powder and, with confidences high and impacts soft, decided to spend the day seeking out the most difficult way possible down the mountain. This means deadmans drop style blacks with mammoths taking on the form of moguls and 10 inches of powder making sure the skis stayed pointed straight down the mountain. Let me tell you nature won the battle but not the war. It may have forced us into an early lunch at 10:45 and limited us to a mere 6 runs, but no matter how many times we fell, we were back up on top of the mountain seeking out a new challange to vanquish. It was good company too, great bonding time for the four of us.

- After a long nap and a cold bath I picked up Kristen and headed off to Friday Night Live or whatever tag we put on it. It was good times; a great game of Signs (It'll be a blast once everyone gets the hang of it) a good game of skittle poker that escalated into a mere poker chip eating contest, then a game of basketball where me and Jared dominated. It felt good cuz my game was on and I was hitting absolutely everything. I was kind of worrying that Kristen wasn't having a good time but it turns out she had a good time getting to meet some new people and just hangout. I'm glad. I felt like I was ditching her but it turns out everyone did a pretty good job of being friendly and helping her have a good time. Thats cool. She's great company and I'm glad she came.

Good times. Gotta get up early tomorrow for the "roadtrip" so I'm heading to bed. Its days like these that memories are made out of. I love you all.

Theres Something About The Shape of a Star

- Theres something magical about not having to go to school when my sisters do. I enjoy it emensly. It makes the mornings so much better when I can hear Jessie next door in the bathroom grogilly getting ready for school while I'm all warm, cozy, and comforatable in my bed with no intention of getting up anytime soon. I did have to get up eventually though because I needed to reschedual an aeration job in lue of the snow on the ground.

- I just got back from racketball with my dad. I can tell I'm getting better because even though he whoops up on me every single game. I can tell that hes at least having to try a little harder and has been mixing it up on me. Unfortunantly, as he turns up the heat, I turn up the suck. I will overcome though. I'm stubborn in my resolve to master the game of racketball and be able to whoop up on those who dare chalange my almighty awsomeness. Its comming. You just wait. I don't think my nagging ankle injury helped out any. It would have been nice if the doctor had actually taken the time to figure out exactly what I did to it so maybe I could get on with making it heal. I'm still swollen up like a pregnant woman and anytime I'm sprinting back and forth on it, it makes sure it files its grievances in the form of pain into the complaint box that is my brain. Oh well. At least I've got something I can blame when my performance is less than desireable.

- So I'm hanging out with the boys tonight, skiing with Micheala, Jordan, Bill, and probably some other people tomorow, the Friday night thing tomorrow night then that roadtrip that starts at the o' dark hours of the morning all Saturday followed by Exit 7 Saturday, and the typical Sunday. Thats a lot on my plate but its all gonna be to good. Just a busy weekend.

- I've got something else to look foward to comming up in April. My dad's got a long layover in Boston so I'm gonna fly up there and we are gonna do the tourist thing in Boston. It'll be some good quality time with the popsy. We haven't always been the closest but our little American field trips like the one to Seattle a couple years ago help out a little. I doubt we are ever going to be chummy but at least it gives us some common ground.

Well I'm going to go shower off the stink, maybe take a nap, then catch up on my basketball. God I love days off.

One can certainly imagine the myraid of uses for a hand-held iguana maker...

Its turning out to be a good week so far. Its nice having things to look foward to to help pass the boring hours a little quicker.

- March 15 is usually kind of a rough day for me because it marks the aniversary of the beggining of the most turbulent relationship of my life that lasted a lot longer than it should have. Its kind of turning into a day of reflection for me to look into my past so I don't have to the other 364 days of the year. I learned a lot from that relationship and, if nothing else, and it taught me a lot about myself love, and life in general. Good ridance.

- A couple of days ago Kristen was telling me about how a song on the radio totally turned her day around and how its these little things in life that are so precious. Since then I too have been makin an effort to truely appreciate these simple things; from the smell of a nice guitar, the way the sun turns that golden color during sunset, the sophisticated innocence of the humor in Calvin and Hobbes. Its really liberating. I recomend it as a cure all for a bad day. Just take a look at the little blessings and stop taking life so dang seriously. Too many friends of mine are all up in the teen angst scene and take the little problems out of proportion. Of course there are those that are legitimatly dealing with though things and of course they are in my prayers, but we all gotta learn just to put things in perspective.

Thus ends The Philosophical Hour with Jay

Have a great week everyone.

If I Wasn't Such a Sucker For You. Da doo da daaa.

So thus ends a fairly average weekend.

-Yesterday, flier passing out was fairly uneventful. We hit a pretty large chunk of Tuscany which, as our astute senses of observation discovered, had already been canvased by Mile High Aeration. This is actually good news bieleve it or not because it lightens the workload I usually get every season because it seems some people like paying 10 bucks more for some crack adict 20 year old to mow down thier sprinkler system. Honestly though I never usually have to worry about not having enough work, and thats when I don't advertise like I did this year, so it'll be nice if I can get some freetime and Mile High Aeration might help out in that.

-Went and saw the movie Robots with my little sisters. Two thumbs up (both thumbs are mine btw). It reminded me of Shreck in its adult oriented pop culture jokes. Then again, I went into the movie bearing pretty low expectations so it fufilled them emensly.

-All this accumulated in a hectic crazy Sunday. I finally got all the crap I needed done a couple of mins ago and I'm not used to not being able to put it all off until the last second. I was working from sun-up to sun-down on this and that. 3 hours of hw (that I actually focused and did. Man do I feel my life is being wasted.), church in the morning, memorizing a novel of lines for the play then play practice. All this while I was trying to watch my basket ball games. Tangent: This is the first season I've actually been following college basketball outside of March madness. I know, I know, the only thing I need is another sport to obsess over but really, its great to watch. Go TEXAS! Sweep the tourney! hoo rah! I'm not one for complaining but being so busy sucks. No time to just chill with the guitar or nap or hang out with friends.

So this week marks the official begining of my comitment to continue to fill my life with adventure. Every week I'm gonna do something I have never done before or wouldn't normally do. I may or may not post it depending on how personal it is. Sorry I just don't feel its real productive revealing all the aspects of what makes me me on an internet blog. Theres gotta be some mystery and privacy in my life.

That only adds to making this upcomming week so exciting. 2 day school week due to CSAPs then its smooth sailing. Heading up snowboarding Wednesday through Friday, hanging out on Friday evening then, roadtrip on Saturday(so I'm told), not to mention March Madness starts on Thursday. Fun times for all.

Well, this is getting pretty lengthy and I doubt anyone really wants to be bored with every detailed aspect of my life. If you do, paypal me. I'll keep writing.

Dog Keychains and the People Who Buy Them

-Well here I am again with another day under my belt and another day drained from my biological clock of death. Doom.

-Its areation season now and its none too soon. I'm hurting for money and it'll be nice getting a hit in the pocketbook. Tomorrow Jordan and I are going to print out fliers and start canvasing the neighbors. My dad bought a second aerator last season as kind of an expensive toy and I figured I could get Jordan to get some use out of it and maybe provide me a little company while I rake in the cash. I'm needing it bad too. I've been sort of prostituting myself, if you will, for gas money and I guess I've learned easy money is more fun than money I've got to work really hard for. My moms had me running around like a flustered chicken doing the menial chores around the house as payment for a quater tanks worth of gas. This has to stop!

-Its late and I'm still buzzing because I didn't think I'd be home so soon and I have some energy to burn. It was poker night at Brandon's and I was having a great time playing cards, pool, and otherwise just chillin, when his sister walks in with her dog acting awfully friendly. After trying to keep the poker game alive under the weight of her endless intoxicated babbling things changed momentum when out comes what musta been a keg of vodka out of her duffel bag. Cards came to a hault and and things started tailspinning as they usually do when booze is brought out. After trying to salvage the night at the pool table, I eventually threw in the towel and headed home, a little frustrated but I guess its all good in the end. I still had a good time. Its just so hard to be yourself when everyone's using alcohol to change who they are. I'm not a fan.

Blog has been born!

Hey ladies and gents. I love reading other people blogs and I guess its only fair that I pour my guts and teenage angst into one myself, if not only for the self healing that journaling can provide, than for the nausiating self pity I can enrichen everybodies life with. I don't have too much to say right now, just kindof a heads up and welcome into the fasinating fun-filled frilly world of Jay.