Oh Yeah, I Love it Here

- I love Fort Collins and the people that are up there a huge amount and they mean to me more than I can say, but FoCo will always be the second home to me behind Aurora. On a strange whim I decided to come home this weekend and I remembered as soon as I set foot in the door why.

- The drive was uneventful highlighted by a beautiful sunset and a CD mix I made a couple months ago that I actually really really like.

- My parents were alright with the piercing, my mom said it made me look too "punk" but as I expected they were ok with it though they didn't like it. I sat there with them just talking about this, that, and the other for a good two hours.

- I saw Julie and Jenna which made me happy. They may be getting older and even though they are, it doesn't seem like they're changing. Thats a good thing. After that, Jessie and I took off for bowling with Austin, Jon, Jacinda, Jana, Stephen, and Jons roomate Joel. Thats about as good of a group of my friends as you're gonna find without the people at college to far away to come to. It was amazing. I really don't like bowling that much but with these people its great.

- Jessie's all grown up too. Of all my sisters, I think she and I are most alike which actually leads to most of our bickering. I want her to chose CSU, but shes really motivated and will probably end up at Mines or DU. I think all three schools would treat her well and at least shes not looking at CU.

- Overall I've got a pretty packed weekend. Its going to be relaxing at the same time though. I need to find some time to just kick back and recharge and get ready for my next couple weeks of school. I also need to find time to write my massive speech and make a killer visual aid to go along with it. Stupid school won't leave me alone even when I'm away.

- All I'm in a good mood cause good times are ahead of me.

68 and Cloudy

- So, I'm another week older. Its been a good week. Nothing dramatic to say so I'll bit an piece it together.

- Last weekend was good. I got to spend it with Adam and it was nice just hanging out with him again like old times. We went to the volleyball games and caught two signed pregame balls from the players. Joel won intermission competetions at both games including one on a team with me and Adam.

- Laura gave me free icecream.

- I got to spend time with the Brittany's like old times.

- And to finish it off I got my eyebrow pierced for free. I've always wanted to do it and the opportunity finally came up. I'm going home this weekend and I don't think my parents will like it but they'll probably be ok with me having it. They'll probably make fun of me a bit but its only fair. I'm really kind of excited to go home. I hate sleeping in the basement room at home but it'll be worth it to see my family and spend a little time in A-Town. I'm hoping to maybe do a little aeration to. It would be money that would be really useful for me.

- Thank God its Fall. I love Fall. I'm in such a good mood just with the weather and the trees changing. Mmm I love it.

Where is the love?

- I'm in an unusual mood. I've got a lot to look foward today and later on in this weekend, but I still feel fairly anxious. Theres a number of things that might be contributing to this but I think I'll just complain about one here.

- I'm kinda loosing hope in people. Its amazing how people can hate each other for no better reason than a political or religious affiliation. I got this from some recent conversations with some friends of mine. I was talking to one of them about a TA we share and my friend mentioned how when she saw the bible verse signature at the bottom of the email she sent out to the class that "The TA just lost 10 big points in my book." How judgemental and unfair is that. We don't know anything about this TA, her views, her personality, her history, and just on the fact that she quoted a bible verse shes a worse person and worth less than anyone else? In all fairness I didn't say anything to point out this injustice because, honestly, I got a similar feeling when I saw it. I've had hateful experiences from the other side of the fence as well. Some of the meanest most two-faced people I've met in college are leaders in the religious groups up here. I've met people that will argue against gay marriage till they're blue in the face, but they don't know even the basis of why they are opposed to it and thier words come out hateful and they do more damage than to this country's view of Christians than any gay marriage ever would. How are people supposed to understand a message of love when they can't find any love in the things Christians say? When I saw the TA's signature I unfairly grouped her in with the mean judgemental people claiming the name of Christ which is doubly unfair since I too am a Christian. They aren't all bad on either side, its just a few bad apples that ruin the batch. Some of the nicest people I've ever met are gay and don't really want any trouble from anyone yet they are still hated for no other reason than that they are gay. Its just incredibly frustrating to me how this us vs. them mentality even infultrates so far as to make friends of mine resent each other for no other reason than what they bieleve. It even affects the relationships I have with my friends and I hate that. I wish people could just voice thier opinions with thier vote and not polarize our country even more than it is now.

- This isn't a new stand of mine, but its surfacing recently and when this political mess bothers me in a way few things can. It chose a bad time too, a time where I'm moderately worried with what I'm going to with myself in not only the comming months, but in the comming years. I can't wait for Sunday. I have a feeling ABC is going to be my place to find peace and calm and give me some rest to recharge for the next week. Judge me for that if you want. I don't care. I love God though I may not always show it and people that resent me for that don't matter anyway.

ABC

- I'm having real trouble finding the motivation in me to study for my psych test tomorrow or to practice my speech, so instead, I'll just waste a little time writing a snipit in here.

- I survived last week. I got an A on my first test of the year too which means I am, as of now, on track for my goal of a 4.0 this semester. That was a major relief. Its gonna be hard keeping the motivation going though, especially at 10:30 on a Sunday night when my studying and speech practice seem, at best, optional.

- I'm doing well moneywise which is something I'm proud of. Its also a major relief to know that I can eat well and spend moderately and still budget myself well enough that I have a good amount left over when all is said and done. I'm going to try and save that money in some kind of rainy day fund because the last thing I want is for it to burn a hole in my pocket.

- As usual these days I have to mention football at least once a post. I don't think I've ever watched more football in one weekend than I have this weekend. Its pathetic, in a way, and I'm kinda sickened when I think about all the better things I could have done with my time, but my friends, I am a true fan and all the virtures, vices, and stereotypes that associate that are true of me as well. Its fall. Thank God its fall. The leaves are changing, the air is crisp, and I'm happy there, my butt planted in front of TV all day in my sweats eating left over soft tacos I cooked up the night before. The games were good too; the results, mediocre. Texas killed Rice, CSU lost hard and big, the Broncos squeaked out a win, and the smattering of other games I watched produced mixed results.

- On another note, think I may have found a new church to start going to up here. Its about a 3 minute bike ride away on Shields and its been a long time since I left a church feeling so good. Its an American Baptist Church and is even more traditional than I expected. I was looking through thier "What We Bieleve" pamphlet and everything was the same as the Southern Baptist bielefs. I think the only reason the demoninations are different were squabbles over how to run the service. It was a little more traditional and formal than MABC but I actual kinda enjoyed the change. And I've never felt so welcome in a church in my entire life. I was probably the youngest person there by 20 or 30 years but they didn't discriminate at all. In fact, half the congregation came up to me to welcome me and tell me how glad I was there and invite me to this and that. They didn't ask questions, they didn't judge, they just loved on me from the second I stepped in the doors to the second I left. The worship was really good too. They sang my favorite hymn "It Is Well", they all laughed together over stupid but lighthearted jokes, gave a portion of the service to thanking the volunteer teachers there, and then the pastor delivered a very meaningful and scripture driven sermon on taming the tongue, something that I've struggled with recently. He even talked about "Talk Like a Pirate Day", something I didn't expect from the warm, 5'7", elderly pastor. Overall, I felt the love of Christ in that building in a way that I never felt at other churches up here like Timberline (which had a coffee shop in it btw, images of Jesus expelling the merchants from the temple anyone?) or at the cold and cruel Navigators/Campus Crusade for Christ. I mean, the pastor even took a portion of his opening prayer to pray for all our enemies that served as a reminder that Christ's love extends to everyone, not just the people we chose. I had a feeling all week that God was driving me to visit there this morning and I plan on returning next week to see if thats the place he wants me. Who knows, maybe I'll even go to thier church picnic after the service and chat it up with my new elderly homies. I'm really hoping thats what I can find here, a family in Christ not being driven by thier raging hormones, with wisdom to help guide me and support me this year and maybe that will give me an opportunity for me to give back.

- God is good and hes bigger than all our opinions, political viewpoints, frustrations, fears, and even bigger than our lack of faith.

- Life is good too. The final piece to the puzzle has fallen into place for my second home in Fort Collins.

Kinda Nervous

- I had a wierd dream last night. It was dissapointing to wake up and find that it wasn't true. I think subconsiously I'm waiting until its to late and I'm already preparing myself to be mad that I did. I just need a wave of unusual bravery to come over me. It'd be a first.

- Texas lost. Its wierd to not find myself heartbroken. Thank God they chose the best day in the world to end thier two year winning streak, the same day that CSU beat CU. It was a somewhat close game and it marks the new highlight of my college life up here, bumping out, ironically another football game. Still, its CU that we beat and the prize of a year of bragging rights its valuable more than I can say. I'm such a dork.

- This week is going to be tough. Here I come 4.0. I gotta motivate myself.

Facebook Feed is Not That Big of a Deal

- I think that one of the biggest differences between college people and people in high school is that everyone in college has an opinion on everything and they all think that thier opinion is king. For example, facebook recently changed its format by adding a feature that is a little to useful and, I agree, is cluttersome and unnecessary, but two hours after it launched it seemed like a crusade was born against it that caused whoever didn't think the change was such a bad thing to be scorned and labeled as a stalker. Another was the schools recent removal of Fum's song, a relatively new tradition started last year that included playing a song written by a famous alumni that made fun of our schools rivals between the third and fourth quarter. The athletic department deemed it inappropriate and unPC and removed the song from the jumbotron. Now, I disagree with the decision very strongly, but I also disagree with the headhunting counter movement by the student body that included a lot jibbering and complaining and selling of tee-shirts, but little actual substance focused on bringing the tradition back. It seemed most of the complaining was just people enjoying the sound of thier own voices. And, ironically, the crusade was over as quickly as it began when Steve Irwin died and everyone shifted thier focus to making memorial groups for him and, go figure, selling Steve Irwin RIP tee-shirts. Its sad that he died, but hes just a person and I doubt there's anybody that will be sitting at home some Saturday afternoon and go, man, I really miss Steve Irwin and the HUGE impact he has on my life. There's obviously a very powerful, though very erratic, strength in people comming together in numbers, I just wish all this frustration and drive would dirrected in a dirrection a little more useful and fruitful instead of complaining about facebook or other, trival things.

- I recognize that that whole rant itself was nothing more than an opinion and thats fine with me. You can agree or disagree with me, its no skin off my back. I just needed to vent my frustration with this culture of complaining that seems to be the status quo these days. Thats my two cents.

- On a different note, things are settling into a more comforatable pattern here. My class workload is getting a little more intense which is bad for me because when I have more to do I usually am less willing to just sit down and get it done. I'm still shooting for straight A's this semester though so I'll have to get my butt in gear and just do it. My first wave of tests is rapidly approaching; next week to be exact.

- I'm really enjoying off campus life. Adam works a lot and is gone a lot so I don't get a lot of hang out time with him, but me and Jeff have been spending a lot of time together recently. We mesh well and have a lot of fun together. Laura and Keri snuck up on our roof one night and scared the crap out of us when we got home, but in the process they discovered how great a place the roof was for hanging out. After we all went to Walrus for icecream, the three of us just hung out and bonded on the roof watching the stars for three hours. I discovered I'm really easily entertained and just hanging out doing nothing with people I love for hours on end is my ideal activity. Thats what me and Brittany's Super Nintendo marathons are all about. Just shooting the breeze and making memories.

- This weekend is going to be amazing. I've got plans on going home and visiting my family which after almost a month of very little contact will be much needed. I love them and they're always going to be there for me and I want to make sure I keep that bond strong. And of course theres the big game this weekend. CU vs. CSU. I want so bad for the Rams to win this one and this year, I actually think they can do it. Texas plays Ohio State this weekend and I'm already setting my self up for heartbreak. Its been about 2 years since they last lost and I forgot what that agony feels like. They stand a chance to beat them but I don't know how much of that game my heart is going to be able to take.

- So all in all nothing is really new with me. Life is good and I'm just biding my time. Its nothing like the adventurous streak I had going my senior but its alright.

My bed's not big enough for me...

- And just like that my weekend makes the blahs of the week bearable. College football started and it was 2 games away from being one of the best football weekends in memory, and its still not over. Texas won, CSU won, Colorado lost to a division IAA school, and had Notre Dame and Oklahoma not pulled off thier lucky saves against terrible opponents, I probably would have been able to die happy.

- The game today against Weber State was extraordinary. And Friday night was fun till 4 in the morning which combined with all the sun I got at the game today, is sending me to be bed at an early 11:30. I'm ok with that though because a day like today doesn't need a climatic finish to make it amazing.

- And theres more good times to come since I have Monday off and only one class on Tuesday which means next week is going to fly by. Next weekend, I'm maybe going home to see my family (I'm missing them some. It didn't help that I turned my closet door into a shrine to my family making me think about them and how much I love them every morning when I go to get dressed.) and then there's the CU game which is setting up to be one of the most memorable games of my life. (A lot of football in my post. It doesn't drive my life as much as it seems but today it has and thats alright.)

- I'm doing well, but I'm learning that I become tired, both physically and mentally, a lot quicker than I did this time last year. I have plans on going running to help me with the former and the trick lies in figuring out how to fix the latter.

- So, thats the short of whats new with me. Bedtime now.