Shows You What I Know...

- So, after worrying and blowing the whole camping thing out of whack, everyone sucked it and packed up and left.

- I had one of the best times of my entire life. The weather was beautiful and the peace and comfort I felt surrounded by amazing people was so incredibly relaxing. We hung out, laughed a lot, and created an experience everyone agrees isn't going to be forgotten any time soon.

- I don't have much else to say about it. I was just incredible. Next time, I take a step back and not be so worried about things going wrong and just think about the things that could go right and the potential life experience I've got waiting for me.

The Camping Fiasco

- So this camping trip is going to be an adventure to even get it going. I forgot how different my friends from home are from my friends up here. My home friends are a whole lot more flexible and not as bothered by the things that make camping fun like say, the outdoors. People don't know what to expect and it scares the people who haven't been before to death. I think this trip has been overplanned and the worst part is if something goes wrong my head is on the chopping block. I would be more than happy to split the group in two with one group going up with me to the spot and the other going to some other camping place like they wanted to and having thier pancakes and plumming. Thats not really an option though as people take things to personally so we're going to all try to go together and I'll just pray that maybe they've built a giant log cabin in the place we're going so things couldn't go wrong. The worst part is that its turned the whole trip into a sizable piece of drama and if theres anything that can sour my mood really fast is drama, especially over something stupid like this. I figure we'll just go and those with a good attitude will have a good time and those without it will be miserable. Thats ok. All the people I expect to have a bad attitude and I don't expect to be friends with after this year no matter what happens. If they get mad at me then que sara right.

- And Kristen and Brittany say I'm the leader of the floor? This trip proves otherwise. I'm not made for leadership. I hate it. Its hard. This is really what leadership is all about. Not buckling under pressure. We'll see how this goes.

Change isn't so bad

- I was walking to class yesterday on an ideal spring morning and I had an epiphany. I was enjoying the sunshine and my thoughs drifted to the days this summer I'll be spending at the pool and the nights camping under the stars and the trips to Water World and Eliches and Sunday afternoon football games and on and on with the countless things I have to look foward to this summer and I realized how much time I've been wasting dreading the end of the school year. I've gone through this cycle about twice every year where I'm enjoying where I'm at so much and I just can't see myself having anything to look foward to once it ends. But things always come through and the day I was dreading would always come and I always adjust and then don't want to leave the new place I'm at. I really shouldn't worry about it. My friends at CSU aren't going anywhere and its going to be so majestic being with everyone else again. Its time for me to finish out the last two weeks strong and embrace whatever change I have comming to me over the summer and the next few years.

Baby Steps

- Wow, I'm going to be bored to tears this summer. With weekends like this nothing this drab summer is going to bring is going to be good enough. Stupid work. Stupid surgery. I sure hope I at least get to see a lot of everyone.

- Anyway onto the weekend. I have good news everyone. I...




...wait for it...




...I set something up instead of just going along for the ride. Yup. I was sitting in child pysch geting parenting advice from a guy with 3 drug addict children which actually meant I was ignoring him and reading the newspaper and I saw an ad for the local drive in here showing Ice Age 2 and The Benchwarmers in their nightly double feature. I decided that would be fun and I started asking people if they wanted to go and before I knew it a trip to the drive in was set up. I couldn't bieleve it. This was my brain child and it actually ended up being what everyone did. It was a lot of fun beyond the part where I was soaking up how I had actually taken the initiative on something.

- I went to bed after that and got woken up by a phone call from the mom at 8 in the morning telling me I had forgot to come down to Denver to work with dad. I grabbed the car and 4 hours later I was 200 dollars richer and on my way back to Fort Collins. It doesn't get any easier than that.

- I got back in time to hop in another car on the way to the Rockies game. It was a lot of fun hanging out with everyone there cheering on the Rockies and then walking around downtown Denver after that.

- Tomorrow is the Mae concert with Brittany and Bri and that'll be the perfect cap to another near perfect weekend. How is my summer supposed to compete with this? Poor summer.

In Between

- Easter weekend was nice and the feeling that the summer is closing in really fast made itself known. It was the first time in a long time that I can remember where me, all my sisters, and even my dad were all in the house at the same time and actually spent some time together. It was nice. If I stayed another week I would have been bored but I almost forgot what it was like to be a member of my family like it was in the old days.

- Yesterday was fun. Cliff and Jon drove down from Greely (Stephen had to work) and met Tyler and I here in the Fort. We ate in the dining center and then headed up to our spot in Estes so I could scout out the area for the camping trip my friends here and I are setting up. We took up a bunch of fireworks and got a nice little campfire going. I even got a battle scar on my stomach where one of the 20 or so bottle rockets Cliff threw on the fire nailed me in the stomach. I've always been curious what it'd be like to get hit with a bottle rocket and now I know.

- I'm feeling good. I'm where I should be right now in my life if that makes any sense and thats a good place to be.

A See-Saw of Desires

- The week keeps chuggin along and I'm experiencing some really wierd mixed emotions. Talking to Jordan, Courtney, Jenny, Jared, and the everyone else has really been getting me reared up for the summer. Its going to fun. I think things are going to be different between everyone this summer but different doesn't have to mean bad. Being so far away from each other has really made me appreciate what I have in my friends from home. There's a part of me that can't wait to get home even though my summer won't live up to the standards of last summer.

- But on the other hand there's the part of me that doesn't want leave CSU. This semester's turned casual friendships from last semester into friendships that are in the next level of intimacy. I can count on one hand the number of friends I've made up here that I'm not going to be friends with through the rest of my college career and even the rest of my life. We signed the lease yesterday to the house and its really nice to have that done with. I have a place to live next year and its going to be so much fun, I can't wait. But even though we're all going to see each other a lot next semester, some of the closest of my friends Brittany, Jeff, and Adam are all about an hour drive away and with all of us working over the summer, its going to be a major task to get together and hang out.

- I guess this is a good problem to have. Its much better than going home to nothing and having nothing to look foward to next year. I just want to have my cake and eat it to and I'm gonna have to learn that I should take what I can get and be thankful for it.

Times Running Out

- Things have developed nicely this week. I'm feeling kinda anxious about the lease because we're running out of time to get everything taken care of but I'm sure it'll all work out and its going to feel real good to have it all done. I've got everything done on my side so now its just a matter of the three of us coordinating to get the thing finished.

- Something else pretty big in my life is working out just the way I wanted it to but I'm having trouble finding the courage to push it to another level. Right now, I'm happy with the way things are and I figure if its meant to go further it will. I've got a couple more years before I need worry about a thing like this.

- I've got a little less than a month of school left and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself this summer. I love the life I have up at CSU and the people I've grown closest to up here are the ones that live farthest away making hanging out with them over the summer with the exception of Britt, difficult but I expect even she'll be busy with her old possy that we're always hearing about. Its going to be hard going from seeing my best friends up here everyday to not seeing hardly anybody at all. I'm looking foward to catching up with the old gang too but I have a feeling everyone's not going to be hanging out as much with everybody working. I've also got those surguries to get through at the beggining of summer which is going to hurt me in the time I'm going to have to make money to pay back my parents and the time I'm going to have to hang out with everyone again. I'll just try to make the best of the time I have left here and I'm really looking foward to next year and having my own house. I've got at least another concert toward the end of may and the big goodby camping trip we're looking to get together before I say goodbye to CSU for the summer and the dorms forever.

Sore and Happy

- Another great weekend is done with and I've got the battle scars to prove it. Friday was the Taking Back Sunday show in Boulder with Britt and Brittany and it was everything I was expecting and more. My body is covered in bruises from the mosh pit and my voice is a still a little horse because I love every song they play. And probably the best part was that I got to share the fun with two of my favorite people. We came back from that on a high from that and got launched right into a weekend long ski trip which didn't let me down either. I took my snowboard on the trip and got a lot better than when the last time I used it. There's pictures from both up on facebook but if for whatever reason you can't access that or don't want to, leave me a coment or IM me or something and I'll give em to you. I'm going to miss the adventures that happen every week here at college once summer hits. I'm already setting myself up to be prepared for a major let down once summer hits and the life of work and responsibility comes. I love my life and things are going well for me. I love it through the hard times and I'm grateful for everyday, but its just so much more natural when you have a week like I've had.

- There's nothing substantial or obnoxiously sophmoric in the entry today so I'm sorry if thats what you were looking for. Enjoy your life. Enjoy the privilages you have and don't linger on the hard times. I hope I can take my own advice and that I grow up to be a happy and fulfilled old man. That would be fantastic.